So, why A Middlehammer Tale?
Individuals’ hordes of unfulfilled potential range in size, but for veterans of the hobby it is not uncommon for entire armies to sit in drawers or on dusty shelves. Every so often we might take out a model or two and say, “Soon. I’ll paint these soon.”, but such promises are rarely kept. New models continue to arrive and we end up deeper and deeper in what might be termed painting debt.
For me, painting debt is a particularly acute affliction. I am, in truth, an inveterate hobby debtor. A truly ‘finished’ army is almost as fantastical a beast as the creatures I aspire to paint, but I recently looked at my collection with fresh eyes and decided that needed to change. I had, sat in a display case, what amounted to a full army of Beastmen – mostly built and based, but almost entirely devoid of paint. Here was a manageable project, but how would I make sure I stuck to my task?
What I needed was a deadline and a timetable. A point by which I had to have my project finished and way to break it up into manageable chunks. Given I needed to paint Beastmen, the solution was painfully obvious – I’d just copy the venerable ‘A Tale of Four Gamers‘ articles from Games Workshop’s White Dwarf Magazine (which featured one of the most famous Beastmen armies of all time). Four GW employees tried to collect (and most importantly paint!) full armies over the course of a few months, in a manner a real hobbyist might find achievable. This was obviously perfect, but simply enforcing a deadline on myself was unlikely to work. External motivation was required.
Living in the middle of nowhere on top of the Pennines has many advantages, but a ready array of painting buddies isn’t one of them. Thus it was immediately clear that any homage to A Tale of Four Gamers would need to be almost entirely online. I’d see if I could find a couple of fellow hobbyists with a similar backlog, with whom I could agree a timetable and paint up an army. I asked if anyone on the various Facebook forums was interested and, as it turned out, I was in for a surprise.
What I quickly learnt was that dozens of people, from all over the world, were equally in need of some external motivation and that if someone was willing to do the organising they’d all quite like to take part, please. After probably not enough consideration, I decided this was a fantastic idea and ‘A Middlehammer Tale’ was born. A narrative army building campaign, where month by month intrepid hobbyists would be tasked with painting the units their general would need to overcome whatever obstacles I could imagine lay between them and world domination.
Wielding the power of a minor ancient deity (or modern billionaire political donor) I would order the world as I saw fit. However, being a beneficent god, my aim would be to allow participants to paint varied and fun armies in a pressure-free and supportive environment. The rules would be simple and inclusive – everyone would paint at least one unit per month and the unit(s) would need to loosely fit some sort of theme (scouts, siege units, etc). That was basically it. This seemed to strike everyone as reasonable, so off we set digging through our collections – with the aim of starting on Monday 1st May 2023. Thus far everything has gone pretty smoothly.
Our Instagram, Discord and now this website have all gone live. Stories have been written and original art has been commissioned (including the banner that adorns the site). This is, in truth, something of an experiment and I’m not entirely sure what content will follow. At the very least there will be regular updates containing pictures of the participants’ growing armies. Some people plan to offer up stories and maps to flesh out their characters and settings. There is likely to be plenty more artwork, some commissioned and some provided by the hobbyists themselves. A lot will depend on feedback from the people involved, as this is intended primarily as a fun experience for them.
So here we now have a slightly novel thing. No longer a true copy of A Tale of Four Gamers, but still an homage of sorts. A Middlehammer Tale. What I hope will be an immersive experience in which participants will socialise with and motivate one another – and which will, in the end, produce fully realised armies that people can be proud of. If you choose to take part (or even if you simply want to follow along) you should get to read new stories, experience unique art and admire cool models – many of which will be painted by genuinely talented people from within the community. There will be terrain and maybe even a helpful guide or two to help you (and hopefully me) improve various skills.
I hope you all have a good time,
– AdeL
Wargear of the Wider World
War is the one constant of all “civilised” races, but each nation armours its people after its own fashion. Here are but a few examples.
Dread Shield
Shield carried by the fearsome Vampire Lord Ushbareth - now held in the vaults of the Temple of Valeth
Dwarven Shield
An ornate shield from an unknown hold. On display in the Royal Museum
Dragon Helm
Sketch by an unknown artist. Helm itself stolen by the infamous halfling thief known only as El Gateau...
Steppe Armour
Leather armour from the Eastern Steppe. Commonly worn by both humans and hobgoblins